let’s talk about negative headspace

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Hi hi helllooo.

Last time we chatted was over a week ago ( !!! ) and I really don’t remember writing that post to be honest. This past week has been a blur, honest. I don’t really know why or what the cause of my negative headspace was but it was just not a fun week.

Even though I did some fun things.

Like going on a field trip to the beach with my mom’s class, celebrated “rainbow day” with her class as well & did some kickass paintings, got a new MacBook and went on a walk around my favourite park with Daniel. I also saw my grandfather, did some shopping and went out to dinner with my family to one of my favourite restaurants.

It wasn’t until this weekend that I really felt a bit “better” even though I didn’t really experience anything that could have been the cause of my mood negative or anything like that.

Negative headspace is so annoying.

Especially when you can’t really put into words and explain to others why you feel so blah. You just do.

& sometimes you can’t help it, even though it is affecting you and others around you.

Sometimes you just need to sit and chill the F out.

Remind yourself to breathe deeply, relax your mind and reassure yourself that you will get through whatever the heck is going on deep, deep down.

Being overwhelmed and emotional sucks. Anxiety sucks. Being in a negative headspace is brutal. But I just kept reminding myself that I could get through it. I could conquer it all and come out on top. And so that’s just what I did.

A few things that I did last week were: journaling my moods and interactions during the day, meditating each & every night, reading a damn good book and getting lost in it, eating a ton of fresh fruits and chugging water by the gallon. I talked to my friends and to my boyfriend and I cried on my mom’s shoulder a few times.

Still to this day, I can’t for the life of me figure out what was wrong or what was overwhelming me because all in all life is pretty chill right now and I am living the good life, but something was just overtaking my headspace last week & it sucked.

I mean on Wednesday, my mom came home from school and I was at the point where my anxiety was so high, I cried and hyperventilated so badly that I thought for sure my lungs were going to explode.

But with help from my mama ( who has the same exact brain / feelings as me, for real ), I got through it.

She encouraged me to remove myself from the “situation” I was in and immerse myself in something else. I kept saying to her that there was no “situation” – I was sitting on the couch, watching the Home & Garden network, aimlessly surfing various blogs and drinking iced water – and I was doing NOTHING that was overwhelming or hard on the brain. But she was very firm in her orders of “removing myself from the situation” and so I did. I went to the kitchen and I watered my succulent garden ( AKA my baby ) and then I watered all of her plants for her, I made some tea and I went upstairs and organised a shelf in the bathroom.

Even though I was so sure that there was no bad situation, I removed myself and occupied my mind doing other things and I got through it. Sure, it was still hard to breathe and I’m pretty sure I didn’t start breathing right until a few hours later, but I was able to clear my mind by focusing on other tasks and I got through it.

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Thursday was better than Wednesday, Sunday was better than Saturday and today is definitely better than yesterday, but I still wouldn’t say that I am 100% out of this negative headspace. It is hard when there is something going on and you just can’t name it.

I was definitely not myself at all last week and even this past weekend was hard. I got to catch up with some of my elementary school friends and I definitely wasn’t fully there.

Last night I saw my uncle for the first time in a few months and I definitely wasn’t me. I saw the man who owns the dance school I attended for 10+ years and I wasn’t able to converse with him in the way I normally would because I just wasn’t able to commit to the conversation as intensely as I had wanted to.

Daniel and I went on a few adventures this weekend and took some pictures, explored some really sick places and I feel as though I was more there than I would’ve been if we had went on like Tuesday or Friday, but I wouldn’t mind going back to the park we went to yesterday again, when I can really soak it all in & be THERE. <<<< sidenote: fun project that I mentioned in last Friday’s post ( TIBTour ) starting soon… this week! For real!

Being in a negative headspace is HARD WORK.

Sure, I can’t stop my emotions from flowing.

Yes, I’m not able to force myself to be happy.

Ya, I don’t want to feel this way but just not wanting to feel something doesn’t STOP it.

But I can work on it. I’m working on investing my time into positive things.

I’m treating myself, rewarding myself and taking care of myself.

I am feeding my body what it needs to be healthy and to help overcome these obstacles.

I am helping my mind to overcome whatever it is that it is going through.

How do you help yourself feel better when you are stuck in a negative headspace? Any tips or tricks… do share!

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