outgrowing friends | blogmas day 3

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[ I was going through pictures to print out for a collage wall in my room and I came across so many beauties that I snapped this summer and I just can’t not share them ]print 3

As we age, we outgrow clothing, shoes, tv shows, music… things that we once loved. Our preferences are changing and as we grow up, we allow ourselves to buy new clothes, try new trends, fall in love with new characters on tv ( even though we swore that Barney would always be our favourite ) and have a new favourite genre of music.

This is all normal and everybody does this. It’s just a natural part of growing up.

Nobody frowns upon it. Nobody has an opinion about it.

Nobody says “OMG why don’t you still like Barney? You swore you’d always love the big purple dinosaur”, “I can’t believe you don’t wear GAP sweaters everyday anymore”, “why do you no longer listen to Raffi on repeat anymore”. <<<<<< true things I swore I’d never outgrow / stop loving HA.

They accept it, probably without thinking about it much to be honest, and life continues on.

But when you end a relationship, whether that be with a significant other or simply a relationship with a friend, it’s like the world ends. Everyone has an opinion about the situation. Everyone claims to have known this was coming or to have known it all along. The questions start flooding in. People become so nosy.

Why aren’t we allowed to outgrow people like we’re allowed to outgrow the love we once had for the beloved purple dinosaur? Why can we not outgrow people without having to provide a reason to the world and hear everyone’s opinions about the situation?

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This time of the year, you get together with family and old friends and they constantly want to know what is going on in your life and sometimes it gets exhausting answering people’s questions.

I’m a firm believer that we are allowed to outgrow everything in our lives, people included. If someone is toxic, you are allowed to remove yourself from that situation. If someone treats you badly or makes you feel badly about yourself, you are allowed to remove yourself from that situation.

Yes, it’s hard. Yes it’s going to hurt.

But in the long run, you will be better off. You will be happier.

Outgrowing people is something you are allowed to do and something that is a natural part of life.

You owe no explanation to anyone as to why you have ended a relationship, friendship, whatever.

You are allowed to make choices and you are allowed to change your mind as well.

Focus on making yourself happy no matter what. This is something I constantly am reminding myself of.

Remember – you owe nothing to anybody. But you owe it to yourself to be happy. Remove yourself from any toxic situations, relationships/friendships included.

xx//julieann

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