It’s been over 2 weeks since I last posted on here… I don’t know if I’ve ever gone that long since October ( when I started the TIB blog! ) without posting! & I must say, I’ve missed it.
I don’t really have a legitimate reason for not blogging other than a whole bunch of random stuff has been going on and I’ve been extremely overwhelmed, overworked, anxious, discouraged, extremely tired and out of my usual ‘zone’ so to speak…
Life Rant ( please excuse this & skip ahead if you don’t feel like reading a slightly negative outlook on my current mood towards life ):
I’m currently working a week-long youth camp with my BF and BFF and yesterday my boyfriend said ‘where the heck has TIB been? I miss her’ and my friend agreed, so this one’s for you guys. I’m back, back, baaaccckk, back again. Side note: this week-long youth camp is totally 110% draining me. We’ve been trying to get support and encouragement all year for our program and it’s been MEHHH but now we’re like in the middle of a shitstorm and we’re all kinda like ‘wtf is going on???’ so even though we haven’t done much intense stuff with our campers ( except we’re finally going to the trampoline park on FriYAY, I’M SO EXCITED ), the environment is totally stressing me / US out and is completely exhausting.
Daniel and I have been house-sitting and dog-sitting for our boss for the last 2 weeks and while it’s been fun, it’s also been stressful. I’ve been anxious ( and cranky… sorry babe ) for approximately 99.9% of the time. I really don’t know why because the house is like a maximum 8-minute drive from my house and like 32 second walk away from job #1, #2 and #3. I can go see my family whenever I want to, I can do my own thing 24/7, so basically I should be less stressed than when I’m at home… but I’m not. I am uncomfortable when I’m in places that I’m not used to ( I used to be the WORST at sleepovers, and I’m basically the worst person to travel with ) and dogs really are outside of my comfort zone so the last 2 weeks have been stressful to say the least. Side note: I love dogs, think they are SO cute, would DIE for a yorkie or a black pug, but deep down they make me anxious and it’s something I’m working on & getting better with, but still it’s been just another thing to add to my anxiety stressors lately. Not to mention – the dog is like 14 years old, so she was super anxious for the first 3 or so days we were here, and she still wakes up at least once every 2 hours & I wake up every single time and jump like a crazy person when she tries to jump in bed with us, so my sleep has been off the last 2 weeks… and I am like a baby when my sleep is interrupted. Brutally cranky, always whiney and basically just a bitch to deal with…. again, sorry babe.
I’ve also had a bazillion projects, assignments and essays due recently. I feel like there’s a time in the semester when NOTHING is due, so you’re like “oh ya, I’ll get ahead and do some work that is due in the upcoming weeks to be on top of this ish” and then you don’t. So when your free time is up, you suddenly have 2 weeks to complete 18 assignments and it’s AWFUL. That’s been me lately. Last night I did 3 discussion posts, 1 quiz, had a group chat about an upcoming group article evaluation ( ???? why is this a thing, SO STUPID ) and then passed out at like 10:15 while watching the most riveting crime documentary on corrupt NYC cops because homegirl was exhausted.
I don’t mean to be complaining but I feel as though I’m kinda not at the same time, just explaining why I’ve been so MIA & it’s sort of turning in to a mini spill-all-word-vomit-kinda-whiney-explanation ( sorry not sorry ). I’ve also been dealing with a lot of work BS, like I don’t really know if I’ll have one of my jobs after Monday because I kind of went off the other night????? But we’ll sort that out when the time comes… I am hopeful. My other two jobs have been physically exhausting. Like I come home at night and don’t feel like I’m ready to go to sleep, but I just feel so exhausted because before January I was basically doing nothing with my life. I worked a blissful 15-18 hours a week and was in 2 classes that were pretty basic and nothing compared to the ones I’m in this term. And now I’m working like 40 hours combined between 3 jobs a week, and in 2 of the MOST TIME CONSUMING CLASSES EVER. I mean what class has 3 discussion posts for one module, plus 1 quiz, plus an essay exam question and either a paper or a test? Why I ever thought children’s literature would be a bird course is beyond me……… #rough.
I’ve also mentioned before that I get super discouraged about blogging / my blog / everything to do with the social media world every so often and lately I’ve been feeling that way again. There’s really no explanation as to why this happens, it just does. I’m all in or all out and that’s just who I am. Lately I’ve really been ALLL OUT, aka where the heck did the last 2 weeks go? What have I been doing with my life? Oh ya, just sending a million rude / questionable / intense / snarky emails, writing discussion post after discussion post, missing exam due dates BECAUSE MY PROF CHANGES THEM TO EARLIER DATES ALL THE FREAKIN’ TIME WITH SUCH SHORT NOTICE, & at work for like 7-10 hours a day. OH and sleeping with a dog that hates me at night, yet follows me around every second during the day, driving my BF insane and eating one too many servings of turkey bacon because #stressfood.
Life Updates ( this is the good stuff, promise ):
On the brightside, my mama comes home from visiting my aunt tomorrow and she has a Brandy Melville surprise for me, there’s only 3 more sleeps until the trampoline park, I’m FINALLY writing a blog post and I AM IN LOVE, the snow that’s coming is only supposed to be minimum ( like 2-5 cm ), it’s almost April 6 which means school is done and there are only 42 days until I am lying on the beach in sunny Cuba.
& I’ve mentioned before that the weather this winter has been INSANELY beautiful. Like the mildest it’s been in literally years, least amount of snow, barely any rain and so many sunny days. Daniel and I made the most out of the weather this weekend and went for a walk through the city and did some exploring & shopping.
We took some really bad iPhone pictures while we were walking around. I’ve always known that there were buildings in the city painted in unique ways and with sick graffiti but I never actually took the time to look at them. Daniel was annoyed with me because we didn’t bring the big camera and I will admit, I was kinda annoyed too but the iPhone pics didn’t turn out THAT bad… not ideal, but still got the job done. After we were done walking through the city, we had a taco night with friends ( AKA one other LOL ) but then we had a few people over for drinks and cards. Let’s just say that wasn’t one of my finer moments & I basically threw Sunday away because I was SO SICK but hey, at least I got to sleep for like 18 hours haha positives right? #neverdrinkingagain
** Also – has anyone ever experienced one of those ‘omg I’m never drinking again’ moments & swear to literally never drink again, only to break that a few months later and experience the exact same thing? I haven’t really drank since July because holyyyyy, I thought my life was going to end the next day and then I decided to brave it and try again this weekend and now I’m really, seriously OVER IT???? I’m only 22… I shouldn’t be that over it yet, right? But I really am. I have no interest in drinking in Cuba ( sure, I may break this… but right now I really don’t feel like I will??? It’s weird… ) and would rather lay on the beach all day, actually wake up early the next day and not feel like a train wreck and ruin my vacay… I think back to last year and how I drank HARD at least 1-2 nights a week and survived off tons of poutines + barely any sleep & I’m like HOWWW??!! **
THAT was the biggest off topic moment.
BUT I’VE MISSED YOU GUYS / BLOGGING / WRITING.
Every time I take a break whether that be for like 2 days or 2 weeks, I’m like why the heck DID I do that?
More exciting news ( perhaps it’s exciting, not really sure how I feel about it yet ) is that Daniel and I are going to try the Ideal Protien diet ( ???? HATE that word, but I don’t know what else to call it ) starting Thursday for the next few weeks & I’m so excited for it! It’s definitely going to be a hugeeeee change, so I’ll blog about it for sure. My mom has done it a few times and her first time she lost over 80 pounds. Obviously, like with any ‘diet’, there are crazy side effects and it’s always an iffy / controversial but I’m down to give it a shot. If I hate it or feel negatively after beginning, I can OBV stop.
+ more on this to come shortly
Easter is coming up and it’s basically my FAV 4 days of the year. Easter weekend is my jam. I’m just praying for NO SNOW so I can get outside and enjoy the nice weather. Perhaps even a BBQ dinner since I have to eat tons of meat for the Ideal Protien ‘diet’ anyway??
SUPER EXCITING NEWS: I got accepted into the program for next year that I applied for. In approximately 2 years I will be a licensed secondary teacher and hopefully within another 1-2 years from then I will be a certified guidance counsellor. So freakin’ excited… now if only I could win the lotto to pay for tuition! Ha!
I’m going shopping for Cuba this weekend and I’ve been getting a ton of fashion inspo so be prepared for tons of summer vibes coming in like 1.5 months PLUS vacation pics. I hope the weather is decent and Daniel is down to spend 95% of his days adventuring and taking pictures ( hint hint, get ready babe ).
I also want to start planning another trip for after Cuba, plus I’m on a mission of convincing my mom to take us on a road trip this summer & convincing Daniel and my friends to take a road trip too. The Canadian dollar is super sucky right now, so road tripping to the States would be a pretty pricey thing but there’s some fun destinations in Canada that we could possibly head to.
I want to start doing a TON of blog posts now that the weather is nice and I can actually get good photos. The winter is just so blah and even though it looks so gross outside I’m going to embrace it and get my blog on more often.
Basically I’m just excited for April 6 to be here so that I no longer have a massive amount of school work to do on top of work, so I can dedicate my free time & not-so-free time to the blog.
I’ve missed you guys so much & I’m super excited to get back in to the swing of things. I can’t promise it’ll be an every day thing but I do swear to never go 2 weeks without posting again! So grateful for this life even through all of the ups and downs, exciting times and anxious times.